MY OPINION FROM EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN: PARENTING

So I was just thinking....

I have so many stuffed animals its not even funny. I also have lots of dolls. (FYI: I don't need anymore). Yes...if I have a boy, he will be able to play with dolls, just as my girl would be able to play with trains, trucks, and cars. I think dress up is also a great game and would not put restrictions on such creative and imaginative play. Play and experimentation with opposite gendered items is indicative of a creative, imaginative child who is not afraid to learn...and the only way we learn is through experience and manipulation with things. How would a child learn about caring if they are not given a baby doll to care for? How would a child learn about movement on wheels if not encouraged to roll cars across the floor? Anyways...I was just thinking....because I think that many people who are not exposed to children and their ways of learning are scared to expose them to certain 'societal' activities reserved for one gender or the other. I think it is dangerous to impose limitations on a child's interest for fear that they would develop a less than wonderful and confident view of themselves....and also of your view of them. I would never want my child to think I only like them if they abide by certain actions or behaviors...I will love them no matter what. I will teach them and expect them to learn appropriate behaviors but never impose limitations on their interests....or emotions...but thats another opinion.
All emotions should be allowed...its the behavior that is caused by certain emotions that will need to be regulated...(by the individual experiencing the emotion). I will teach my child to label and express emotion in a healthy manner but allow them to experience any and all emotions at any time they feel valid. So many people belittle children's emotions..."oh you don't feel like that" or "there's no reason for that" or "not right here". That is damaging to a child's self esteem to put down their true feelings... of which you have no say because you are not them. All you can do is teach them to process the feelings they will inevitably have and to act out on them in a productive manner. All in all, children are their own person. They have feelings and interests and should never be belittled because they are littler than you or of the wrong gender. I feel very strongly about these matters and can only try my best to ensure that I follow up on them. Of course words are easier than actions. Luckily I put these values into effect daily at work...I think its so much easier to 'watch yourself' around other people's children than your own.
I think that Americans have a contradictory view of children: first, children are their parents property in a way, and second, the level of independence we expect from children in this country. Of course I believe that children are accountable to their parents, and eventually to society, for their behaviors, but how can you control something while teaching it independence, a skill necessary for our society. Control is the wrong word, I think should never be used in terms of raising a child. If anyone ever tells or asks me to control my child, I will ask them who is in control of them. My child is a person and is in control of themself, is what I'll say. I can and will teach them how to be in control of themselves but it is impossible (and inhumane if possible) to actually control another being (physically/psychologically/emotionally/etc). That is the first step and comfort of becoming a parent to me! I am not in control of my child and never will be. I will never have to undertake the consequence of their actions....directly. They will. I will be the respected and more knowledgable other who will be in control of myself first, then of teaching my child to respect themself, others, and things. That is something I look forward to actually. I will teach by example and of course through natural consequence. Natural consequences is the biggest teaching tool I have ever seen effectively used. If a child is standing on the couch, for example, and you don't think it is safe, sending them to their room is very unrelated! However, letting them know it is not safe and that they cannot be on the couch unless keeping themselves safe is directly related. Or another sort of natural consequence would be that they fall of the couch and are hurt and/or scared because they were not being safe. Next time they are on the couch they will remember the rules of safety on the couch (not that they might not test you again but...repeat as before). If they had been sent to their room, however, they would never have learned: 1. WHY (which too many people are scared to teach...the only why I feel I have to teach is safety: safety of feelings, other bodies, pets, self, objects...etc...its the fail safe reason that all children understand because feelings, bodies, and objects can all get hurt: If it doesn't fit inot that category: you are no longer disciplining (aka TEACHING) but now you are picking on someone who is smaller than you and less experienced. Why would you do that?), or 2. what would happen in the real world! What else are you preparing a child for?

Anyways...I was just thinking....

Here are two hats that I've crocheted...They're tiny! I sure hope my baby's head fits into them...for more reasons than one. I just learned how to crochet this past week at work...Thanks Jenny...and I didn't even start off making a hat...it kind of just turned into it...which made me so excited that I did another one. I think Jenny will now have to teach me how to make matching booties!

So I've broken out into a crazy rash all over my chest, neck, back, and stomach...fun bumpy red spots! They itch like crazy but I guess weird rashes are normal! I guess my doc's not too worried either since she hasn't called back all week.

So tomorrow is Halloween...I get to dress up to go to work...the toddlers will be trick-or-treating at CSU!! I can't wait (but then again I've never taken up to 12 toddlers trick-or-treating before). Wish me luck!

Bobby moves in with Judah tomorrow! We went to put him on the lease today and we went shopping for necessities such as a garbage can, hangers, soap...etc...He'll be all set with a futon bed, a night table, a small fridge, a lamp, and his clothes. He's excited...and so am I b/c I am planning on moving all of my boxes and junk into the office room. I'm feeling claustrophobic with all the clutter in the living room these days. I'll miss having him around though especially b/c he was a pretty good housekeeper!!! Thank You Bobby!

Thank You Ronnie for the fetal heart listener and the fetal music speakers!!! We still can't locate the heartbeat but we'll keep trying.

Anyways...I better go eat something! I'm starving and its my bedtime.

Halloween

Tonight Barry, Bobby (brother-in-law), and I went to a Halloween Party!

Pictures...

This is a picture of me at 12 weeks!

Nutrition and Weight Gain Reminders

How Your Weight Adds Up
25-30 lbs Weight Gain is Normal

Baby: 7.5 lbs
Uterus: 2 lbs
Placenta: 1.5 lbs
Amniotic Fluid: 2 lbs
Breast Enlargement: 2 lbs
Extra Blood/Fluid Volume: 8 lbs
Extra Fat Stores: 7 lbs
_____________________________
Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs


The Body Needs: Proteins, Carbs, Fats, Vitamins, Minerals, Water

Food Pyramid
Grains: 6-11 Servings (whole grains best)
Vegetables: 3-5 Servings (Fresh, Organic, Variety Best)
Fruits: 2-4 Servings (Fresh, Organic, Variety Best)
Dairy: 2-3 Servings
Protein: 2-3 Servings

Also Important...35 g fiber/day, 1500-2000 mg Calcium, Prenatals (esp Folic Acid), 60 mg Iron, 100 g protein


Weight Gain Timeline
1st Trimester: 4 lbs
2nd/3rd Trimester: 1 lb /week
Last Month: 1-2 lbs

Second Trimester Starts Today

I'm so excited to be in the second trimester...now time for all new funny feelings....My hips started hurting today...right on time I suppose....I just hope I don't grow out of everything I own b/c clothes are expensive and I get bored of wearing the same thing all the time.
Anyways....no more morning (afternoon really) sickness!!! Hurray! I believe in the power of will-power. I will not be getting nauseaus anymore!

Tonight Barry and I are going to the Eagles hockey game with Aunt Doreen, Uncle Mark, Julie, and Chris.

Cutie Patootie Booties

Thanks to Grandma Biss for the adorable booties!!!! I love them!!!!

Pregnancy Test

So...what happened was: I took a 3 year expired test I must have had forever...obviously never needing it...just handy to have...and in turned out positive...I am never late...let alone two days late! So to ease my mind...after going to our friends Pat and Molly's for dinner and a very small drink, as I felt guilty being late and all....I told Barry this wasn't normal and that I was going to take the test. He got very nervous!...Especially cuz we had recently discussed children...and he was adamant about buying a house first and really planning the perfect time to have a kid. So after teasing him...and then going to take the test...I called for him to come look at the two lines!!! He said..."no, that one is expired...we have to go get some new ones." At the store, we frightened away a couple debating which condom would work best for them...."oh there they are" and Barry "get a couple different brands just in case." Then he insisted I take the two in the box....I know how hard it is to get that second line there...you really have to be pregnant. But to convince him....And even then "well, go see what a doctor says." He's excited now...but HAHAHAHA....what a surprise!

Our Registry

Amazon.com Baby Registry

Target Baby Registry

First Post

FYI:
I am setting up this blog for friends and family to keep updated on my pregnancy...and eventually the baby! Hopefully I like it and keep it running. I also keep a written journal so I don't know how much time I'll find to update but I'll attempt.

Intro:
I found out I was pregnant only a month after my wedding, Sept. 2007. Barry and I have been together for 7 years (Aug. 2007) We were surprised but we are ready in terms of our relationship.
I am 12 weeks today! Our EDD is May 8th (my best friend's birthday). Last Thursday we got to hear the heartbeat...I think that made the whole experience for Barry so much more realistic. I've been reading up on everything...and having a degree in Human Development and Family Studies/Early Childhood Education makes for a highly informed experience. I can't imagine not knowing how/why/what is going on with my body or the baby.

Physical Stuff:
I've been nauseous since about the 8th week but not so bad that I throw up on a regular basis. And actually this week...that is decreasing. The fear of miscarriage has significantly decreased as the chances have decreased. My back is shooting pain from the base of my spine when I walk or bend sometimes...that's pretty fun! I sleep so much lighter than I used to....I'm a good sleeper thankfully. I work 6:30am until 2:30pm at a daycare...I'm covering the maternity leave for a coworker (LOL)...I've worked there for about 3 years this coming January...always as temp/part time/substitute while in school or over the summers....and when I get off...I can take a 1-4 hour nap...then go to bed at 9:30...wake up at least once a night to pee..or whenever the dog jumps off the bed. I'm not as tired as in the beginning either. Other than that...I feel pretty good. I can't believe how much I eat...I'm getting bored of eating so much actually. I rarely felt like eating in the beginning but now I'm getting used to it. I lost a pound this last doctor visit but hopefully now that we're starting the second trimester....I start gaining. In total to date I've gained about a pound...they recommend 3 1/2 lbs the first trimester (oops).

Emotional Stuff:
Hmmm...I'm always emotional anyway so I don't think I'm very different on that aspect...Different things make me cry now...but not any more than usual. Also I think that getting enough sleep has actually made me more stable!!! Hurray for that!
Barry....well he's not too emotional...he's definitely happy and excited and nervous...etc...

Psychological Stuff:
Life doesn't happen as planned. You get what you get and don't throw a fit...as we say in toddlers. I'm sooooo excited actually!!!! This is my dream come true! Since my sister was born, when I was 2, I've wanted to be a mom! I've had names picked out since I can remember (not that I'll use them now). I've always assumed the caregiver role....been the bossiest of my siblings. What they say about Cancers is true re: family, etc....

Anyways...that's it for the first post! I'm excited I'll be in my second trimester now....